Tradition

My childhood was full of funny little traditions:

• Santa likes his whisky with a little bit of water.
• Rudolph prefers chocolate to carrots.
• Tooth fairy rates do not increase with inflation.
• On Christmas Eve we will go down to the pub, get merrily drunk and stagger to Midnight Mass no matter what condition we were in.
• Christmas presents are not to be opened until about 3 in the afternoon (after late breakfast, a trip to the pub and before the meal in the evening).
• Easter is a day for chocolate and church. Your egg will be on the table with breakfast and you may eat it then and there as an accompaniment with full fry up breakfast. You will then go to church.
• At the end of the school year you will take a thank you present to your teacher.
• Bread and butter letters will be sent after staying with someone.
• Home made cards are best.
• No matter what the weather, you will go for a walk on a Sunday.
• Saturdays are for going into "nearest large town to the village". We will meet at 11 o'clock at "random small coffee shop".
• All pets will have random swahili names.

It makes me a little bit sad that N doesn't seem to have had all these types of traditions. If we get married and have children it'll be up to me to make sure that, 20 years on, they're sitting remembering their childhood with fondness and having a little giggle.

As old as the woman you feel

A wise man once said "How old would you be if you didn't know how old you were?" And, as it's coming up to my birthday (gosh, I'm going to be so old), I got thinking.

How old would I like to be?

0 - 2 years - No stress. Sit. Lie down a little. Cry a bit. Play. Eat. All your needs are dealt with, no responsibility. Now that's a life I could get used to. Much like a cat I would be ruler of my own universe, know I was right in all circumstances and would be able to turn my affection on and off at whim.

6-7 years - I have few memories from this period but I do remember endless summers. I always seemed to be playing, even when at school. Friends could be made and dropped in an instant. There was no pressure to look good or to wear the right things. If you were teased you were safe in the knowledge that your mother had dressed you so therefore, it wasn't your fault. Food seemed nicer at this age. Maybe because everything was new.

Teen years - Surprisingly idyllic. Is this because I was living in a hot country with few distractions apart from horses and sport? Could it be that I just didn't care what people thought? Still?

30 - 40 years - For some reason I think this will be the best time of my life. I should have my own home. I should be married. I should have children. I should have enough money to see me through. Should.

90+ years - I would have great fun pretending I were slightly mad. I'd put irons in the fridge. I'd make my 10 cats wear different hats and seat them round the table at dinner parties. I would delight in squeezing the cheeks of people younger than me. I would attempt to grow plants in people's shoes and I would make everyone refer to me as "Your Majesty".

What about you?

Can it be true...?

Picture shamelessly stolen from Mzungu Chick but I'm sure she won't mind!

Finally, Odinga and Kibaki have signed a deal. It's a start. That has to be a good thing. The most exciting thing for me is the fact that hopefully the Kenyan people can start getting back to normal now.

My mother called me. She said that John and Daniel were "jumping round the garden". And that's what it's all about. The sense of relief felt by the Kenyan people must be immense. As I browse through my "Kenyan" blogs, I almost feel as if a huge weight has been lifted. There are questions that still remain of course but hopefully now, Kenya can start answering them.

PS the 'real' post I was going to write today can be written later.

Help save the Mara...

picture (c) The Mara Conservancy

Richard Leakey and friends over at Wildlife Direct have highlighted the problems facing the Mara due to the recent troubles in Kenya. The massive decline in tourists means that the management of the Mara are facing financial difficulties. As a result, it's looking like they won't be able to pay for the important things that keep the park what it is (such as poacher patrols, fire breaks etc).

You can find out more information about what they need money for and how you can help here.

If you do one good thing today, let it be donating $10 (£5) to this cause.

Fishing for compliments

I seem to be lapsing into a state where I don't even bother to write my own posts anymore. What can I say, I'm not a writer, there are people out there who write things much more eloquently than I can.

Kenya: a quick update

Email from my mother:

Things seem to be going from bad to worse at the moment here - Nakuru and Naivasha a blood bath over the weekend. Just cannot see an end to it all. It is now beyond political violence it is more like ethnic cleansing.

Considering this is my mother speaking (generally a positive, "things will be alright in the end, everything happens for a reason" kind of gal") it seems things in Kenya are a lot worse that is being reported over here.

I think I'll leave the analysis to the people on the ground.

More Kenya bits 'n' bobs

A short one today, and not even written by me.

Came across this article. I think it succinctly sums up the problems in Kenya at the moment with its last line "It is ripping the country apart."

A bluffer's guide to work

I can just tell it's going to be one of those days.

You know the ones I mean. The ones where you *know* you have a pile of work ten foot high to finish and yet somehow, you just can't be bothered to get round to doing it.

You surf the net doing "research", you make a cup of tea, you tidy your desk (tidy desk = tidy mind = more work. Honestly, Mr Manager), you "consult" your colleagues, you send a few vital emails. But still, at the end of the day. The work's still there, waiting to be finished.

However, there is a plus side to all this. As a result of my "research" I've stumbled upon some really well written, interesting, amusing blogs. I thought I'd share.

South of West - a quick google of Rob Crilly tells me that he writes for an wide range of publications and someone thinks he's a great teacher.

Reluctant Memsahib - Another journalist, Anthea just amuses me.

Advertising: the Kenya way

Shashank Bengali over at Somewhere in Africa and the ever informative Kenyan Pundit have drawn my attention to the most bizarre set of adverts I've ever seen - all paid for by the Kenyan Government (i.e the Kenyan people).

Now I'm not one to normally read the Guardian. In fact, I'm probably as far removed from a typical Guardian reader as you've ever likely to get.

However. Kenyan Pundit (a great source of information regarding the recent elections) has pointed me towards this very interesting article written a couple of weeks ago. Any thoughts?

Nick Wadhams makes a very interesting point here about the situation in Kenya. It always bemuses me at how fickle the media can be. One minute Kenya is the big news story of the hour, the next, an (admittedly cute) octopus is headline news.

Why is that? Is it because there's not enough death and gore for the picture editors to drool over? People are still dying. People are still hungry. People still have nowhere to live. In order to highlight the issue, a number of Kenyan bloggers have pulled together to create Ushahidi - a website dedicated in reporting the unseen troubles which are still going on at home.

Personally, I don't know what the solution is. I'm not there and I don't have a vote so I don't really feel in any way qualified to make a comment. I don't think anyone is in any doubt that the elections were rigged however I can't see any way to make it all better. Surely if Odinga forcibly takes over then he is no better than Kibaki?

I'm tired and I'm stressing. I'm worrying and I'm angry. I'm confused and I'm a little scared.

I'm sure I'll get over it though.

The problems continue.

Latest text from my mother: Have been out fighting for food for all the staff. John the day askari [secruity guard] had his house burnt down this morning so am trying to get him and family to a safer place. No food, no fuel and all pretty awful. Things will get worse tomorrow with planned march by millions on nairobi. Police on shoot to kill. Not looking good at all.

In other news, N, a friend and I are in the planning stages of a Cape to Cairo type expedition. Exactly the same except some minor details - we won't be going by train and we won't be going to Cairo. Anyone know a good Toyota dealer?

A belated Happy Christmas to all. Things are a little hectic at the moment. Am thinking about Kenya and trying not to worry too much.

The parents are safe but wisely staying in. Watch this space...

Today I am mostly:

• pushing the envelope (literally) as I stuff 300 christmas cards and nurse my paper cuts
• dreaming of Kenya and the lovely weather I've just left behind
• wondering whether I've got enough Christmas presents and whether I should go out and buy more on Saturday
• cursing my generosity - what made me invite 4 people round for Sunday lunch?
• collecting people's addresses so next year I can be one of those organised people I hate and send out a load of Christmas cards - it also makes me feel a tad grown up...
• procrastinating - can you tell?